This post I wrote as I was on a plane returning to NY. It was written on 04/03/17 around 1am.
THOUGHTS ON A PLANE

In life we encounter so many people that are sometimes simply just passing trough, others remain in a permanent fashion and there are those that remain in a limbo of sorts. They come and go every so often but never are truly far away from us. We fail to truly classify them because perhaps at one point wanted for them to remain and were not able to truly ever have them remain in our lives. The older we get we learn to disassociate ourselves from even those that we want to keep close. It’s like a wall we build up so that no one can get through it mentally. The pain we experience in our lives allow for us to create a detached mode within ourselves. I barely know him (junior) and yet by him allowing me into his private life he’s made me wonder if I could indeed allow someone into my life as he has allowed me into his. 

I closed my door even when I was last involved with someone. My ex actually made me see that I could truly detach while still being very much present. In another time of my life I would have been all over Junior and just for the physical because that what I do best, but I see within me how much I have changed. I can become physical with anyone and not form an emotional bond. Is that bad necessarily maybe yes and maybe no.

#DefenseMechanism #Life #NoEmotions #NoEmotionalBonds #JustSex #JustPhysical