I wish i could explain to you in so many words how hard it has been for me these past months without you. I’ve dreamed, fantasized and wondered so many different things. Being away from you though and that pain has been very real. I’ll confess I’ve even shed a tear or two because of it.
It’s crazy because you have got to be the most absent and distant person i have dealt with in my entire life but when you speak, you speak volumes. A few words and it’s enough to make me fall to my knees and hold on desperately to this insane fantasy in my head.
I know im Crazy and that these fantasies are mine alone but you are just perfect in my eyes. You can’t even begin to imagine all the insane things that pass through my mind. The many thoughts of the unknown that i allow my mind to think about, knowing damn well I’m being foolish.
I miss you my King. Nobody touches my heart and soul the way you have. No one ignites the flames in my eyes the way you have. Nobody penetrates the core of my very existence the way you have. It’s you, it’s always you……….
A few weeks can change a person so drastically. I experienced a heartbreaking ordeal in 2015-2016 which would forever change the woman I had become. I wanted love and a home with a white picket fence and maybe a dog with a big family but God looked down at me and laughed. I did everything right in life except maybe I was always too independent. I was always in charge but it was because deep down I wanted a man to see what an asset as a woman I was. It backfired on me. I got a career, a home, a car yet I live alone with no one but my shadow. Men don’t want me because I can’t give them children and I’m just not a ‘girl’. I’m too aggressive I’ve been told; intimidating to so many. It’s crazy how one day you feel you are doing everything right and when you look back you realize you did everything wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t have aspired for so much and then maybe I would have been more marketable for a man. The truth is that i no longer care. All I want today in life is to find men that will give me physical pleasure and be content with just that. #Loveless #FuckLove #MenWantWeakWomen #ImTooAggressive #FuckMen #IonlyNeedTemporaryWarmth #LoveIsOverRated