Words To My Muse Mr. Crossfit

I wish i could explain to you in so many words how hard it has been for me these past months without you. I’ve dreamed, fantasized and wondered so many different things. Being away from you though and that pain has been very real. I’ll confess I’ve even shed a tear or two because of it.

It’s crazy because you have got to be the most absent and distant person i have dealt with in my entire life but when you speak, you speak volumes. A few words and it’s enough to make me fall to my knees and hold on desperately to this insane fantasy in my head.

I know im Crazy and that these fantasies are mine alone but you are just perfect in my eyes. You can’t even begin to imagine all the insane things that pass through my mind. The many thoughts of the unknown that i allow my mind to think about, knowing damn well I’m being foolish.

I miss you my King. Nobody touches my heart and soul the way you have. No one ignites the flames in my eyes the way you have. Nobody penetrates the core of my very existence the way you have. It’s you, it’s always you……….

Boyfriends & Happily Ever Afters…

What is a boyfriend? Today I was reminded that I never use that word anymore. I’m older and I would like to think wiser but I never use that word anymore. Society has changed and thus has made us more surrounded by walls despite wanting that thing called love. We seek the warmth of another’s skin, the smile that turns into a kiss for our face; we seek the hand which fingers interlock with ours. We stand in the shower and as the glass fogs we draw our initials in a heart hoping to seal in the possibility of a relationship. We watch movies where the end is a home full of love and the endless possibilities of an amazing family. 
What reality does not show is that perhaps you are older and can no longer bare any child to any man. It does not show that maybe you’ll find a man who will accept you because all he wants is your love and he isn’t interested in children. It doesn’t show that maybe he has children and now he wants to share that life with you. The happily ever after doesn’t show you that perhaps you both live in a great apartment instead of a house and that it’s perfect for you two and maybe a dog. So many different happily ever afters but where is yours. Where is my happily ever after?